Ask the YSB KidPros:
Parents/Kids: Do you have a question you would like to ask a YSB Therapist or Specialist? This new web feature will give you the forum for it. You can email in your questions, and a YSB professional will review it and work with you on an answer. Maybe you would like us to call you for a private consultation - or you don't mind if we post the Question and Answer on the web site to help others. If we post it on the site, we only use your first name, and city. We don't give out any other information. It's another way YSB wants to reach out to the community, and help the McHenry County youth and their families. E-mail the Kidpros with your questions and concerns!
Question - I think my 8th grader is experimenting with drugs. How can I address this?
Answer - You have presented quite a dilemma many parents face. Before approaching you child, do you homework. What do you think they may be experimenting with? Find out the physical, mental and social side-effects from the use of the drug. Alcohol is also a drug. You want to know what you are talking about so your child will understand you know what you are saying. They will also realize you are someone they may want to talk to in the future because you do know something!
Remember to never approach your child if you are upset, angry or hysterical because you fear the worst. You do not want to frighten the child or put them on the defense so they will not speak with you. You want to come to them calmly and when you both have time to talk. Ask them directly if they are using drugs. Sometimes this will surprise them and they will tell you the truth. Also, by being calm about it, they will not fear punishment for answering yes. Many youth will not be open about their use or experimentation. At this point, from your homework, you need to let them know why you are concerned and what the harmful effects are from the drugs you are concerned about. Most drugs have side effects on their physical body, ability to learn and stop their ability to develop socially. Let them know they can always speak with you about anything. Acknowledge they are under peer pressure to do what others are doing and if the pressure ever becomes too great, they can always talk with you. Let them know you want what is best for them now and in the future. If school grades slip and/or peer group changes, these can be indicators of trouble. You may keep a better eye on your child's daily behaviors and note the changes. School counselors can find out what peers at school your child associates with. If you seriously believe your child is using drugs you can take them to the doctor for a urine test to find out if they are using anything. But be aware this is very invasive of their privacy and the trust level you have established with your child. I would only do a urine test if I am very sure they are denying their use. You want to be supportive and be a concerned parent, not the police.
I hope we have been able to help you. We have a group at YSB called Pathways. It is for youth that need to learn about drug experimentation and use. This is not for hard users, but is more of a preventive measure. This may be of help because they can give the child facts and a place to openly talk about their peer pressures and not worry about parental repercussions. If there is any other help we give you, call on us again.
Kay Telander, LCSW
For further information or to make a referral, contact McHenry County Youth Service Bureau 1-815-338-7360
GENERAL DISCLAIMER YSB KidPros is designed for educational purposes only and is not engaged in rendering medical advice. The information provided through KidPros should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or a disease. It is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, you should consult your health care provider. The authors, editors, producers, sponsors, and contributors shall have no liability, obligation or responsibility to any person or entity for any loss, damage, or adverse consequence alleged to have happened directly or indirectly as a consequence of this material.
