Holidays and Culture
By Janice Connelly
YSB Director of
Prevention
We are fortunate to live in a society
where children are exposed to many different cultures and beliefs. The awareness of and incorporation of new
ideas allows children to obtain new knowledge and to develop a deeper
understanding of the world. However,
many parents worry that their children will not understand their own background
and culture. Fortunately, there are many
opportunities for parents to pass along their own culture to their children
while allowing them to learn about and develop a respect for other cultures.
Holidays and special events can
provide excellent opportunities for parents to share their culture, beliefs and
values with their children. Daily
routines and regularly scheduled family events can also serve this purpose. Children
pay attention to what you do and say, even if they don’t express their interest
to their parents. This is reflected in a
review of 50 years of research on family routines and rituals, in which
researchers have noted that family routines and rituals may ease the stress of
daily living, and provide times for family togetherness. Family celebrations and rituals are
associated with child health and academic achievement and may contribute to parent-child
harmony. Additionally, they may help
generations to stay connected to one another.[1] According to Franklin & Bankston, family rituals can be an important
way to stay connected to your children, especially as they move through
adolescence.[2] Additionally, research indicates that
families who have regular family celebrations and rituals function better
during times of stress.[3]
As we move into the holiday season,
parents may want to take some time to think about their family traditions and
the messages that they provide to their children. Celebrations don’t need to be elaborate or
complicated, simply getting together with extended family, talking about what
you do and why you do it, or sitting down to regular family meals can help
families to pass along their beliefs and culture while providing time for families
to connect with one another. Some simple
ideas for every-day family life include:
-
plan
to share a family meal at least once a week
-
attend
religious ceremonies appropriate to your culture and beliefs together on a
regular basis
-
get
together with extended family on a regular basis and allow children to
participate in the planning of these events
-
Share
family stories and allow children to create new family stories by remembering
events that have happened in their own lives
Simple
holiday ideas include:
-
Establish
regular family customs for the celebration of holidays – for example, on
Thanksgiving you may spend the day preparing food together, volunteer at a
shelter as a family or spend special time with extended family or friends.
-
Involve
your children in planning for holiday events
-
Talk
to your children about the meaning of each special event or holiday from your
perspective – you may even want to read books to them related to your personal
beliefs.
-
Make
celebrations fun – focus more on being together than on elaborate plans or
gifts.
Focusing on togetherness and fun,
without stressing the “work” associated with holiday preparation can reduce the
stress associated with many holidays and help them to be more enjoyable for all
family members.
[1] Fiese,
B., Tomcho, T.,
[2]
Franklin, Diane & Bankston, Karen.
1999. Ties that bind: Building and maintaining strong parent-child
relationships through family traditions and rituals.
[3] Reiss, David & Oliveri, Mary Ellen. 1980. Family paradigm and family coping: A proposal for linking the families intrinsic adaptive capacities to it’s responses to stress. Family Relations, vol. 29, no. 4, p. 431-444.