When There’s No Place to Call Home
By Lynn Mitchell
The National Runaway Switchboard (NRS) and the National Network for Youth (NNY) have declared November “National Runaway Prevention Month”. Their goal is to increase awareness of the issues facing runaways and to educate the public about solutions and prevention.
On the wall in my kitchen is one of those decorative art pieces with a friendly saying. This one says, “Home is where your story begins.” Perhaps you’ve also heard the expression, “Home is where, when you have to go, they have to take you in.” These words conjure notions of a safe and peaceful shelter. Well, what if there is no one to take you in, what if there is no place to call home and what if your story isn’t so great? What if you are scared just to be in your home? That’s what it’s like for millions of teens each year that choose to run away from home.
We all know being a teen is tough. Developmentally, the adolescent years are a time for exploring and seeking identity. Teens are subject to many pressures including: peer influences, parent expectations, school standards, and physical and emotional upheavals, just to name a few. It’s no wonder many teens find themselves in turmoil. So what about teens who also have to deal with family issues?
Some people might believe that kids who run away are bad kids who just want to rebel - not so. Research suggests that the vast majority are victims of severe abuse who are escaping dangerous situations. Running away often provides them with a temporary solution to a painful problem. Through their eyes, it’s about survival. A 2003 study by the Center for Law and Social Policy (CLASP) found that half of the homeless youth interviewed reported “intense conflict or physical harm by a family member”. Then there are the “throwaways” – kids who have been kicked out of the house, slowly driven out, or abandoned by their parents. The CLASP study found that 62 percent of the homeless youth interviewed said that a member of their family or household had let them know they were no longer wanted. Runaways are often dealing with insurmountable levels of stressful life events. Teen pregnancy, physical and sexual abuse, alcoholic parents, drug abusing caregivers, and economic hardship are all precipitants of runaway behavior. Family issues such as divorce, remarriage and problems with siblings are also causes. Youth become homeless for many reasons, but the absence of an emotionally supportive and functional family is the most common factor cited by experts in the field.
Of course, there are some runaways who are impulsively acting out their anger at well-intentioned parents or schools who may rightly be placing boundaries on the child’s unacceptable behavior. It is recommended that parents, who want to prevent their child from running away, need to develop strong communication habits with their child early on. Good communication will go a long way toward solidifying a bond and nurturing trust during times of disagreement. A few tips offered by NRS:
- Seek to understand your child. Try to look at life through your child’s point of view and think about what you experienced at that age.
- Discuss feelings. Talk about what it feels like to be a parent. When parents are open and honest about their feelings, kids know it’s safe to share their own.
- Use teamwork . Work together to discuss problems and explore mutually acceptable solutions.
- Know when to get help . If you sense your child might be dealing with a mental health issue such as depression or anxiety, then seek help from counseling professionals.
Regardless of the reasons that youth runaway, they are unprepared for the dangers of life on the streets. Runaway youth face many risks to their physical and mental health while on the streets. Alcohol and drug use, high-risk sexual behavior and criminal activity are very common among runaways. Often hopes of escaping a problematic life end in poverty, illness, injury, depression, substance abuse and prostitution.
The actual number of runaway and homeless youth in the U.S. is difficult to obtain. Estimates from the National Runaway Switchboard (NRS) suggest 1.6 to 2.8 million youth run away each year. This startling number represents two to five percent of the youth population. Frequently, you may see men and women walking the streets and identify them as homeless, but rarely do you see a homeless youth. The reason they’re not noticed, according to Meghan Stromberg in her article “Shadow Kids”, is because they don’t want to be. They do their best to remain hidden and to avoid being victimized on the streets. Adult homeless shelters can be the most dangerous places of all for them. Perhaps they will “couch-surf” with friends for a while. This invisibility factor makes homeless youth a hard-to-serve population.
There is help and there is hope. Often these children are resilient and courageous youth who, when presented with the right resources, can find safe and healthy alternatives to a life on the street. Runaway and homeless kids who are in need of help are likely to make first contact at a youth shelter or through an outreach program. Under the 1974 federal Runaway and Homeless Youth Act, which helps fund local nonprofit organizations that serve runaway youth, basic centers (emergency shelters) offer residential support, as well as provide meals, clothing, access to medical care and counseling services. If abuse and neglect is present, the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) is contacted.
The Youth Service Bureau (YSB) of McHenry County helps youth at risk of running away and homeless youth. The staff at YSB seeks to reunite youth with family, if possible, or find alternative placements with relatives or in foster care. Runaways may be referred to YSB from the McHenry County Crisis Line, police departments, schools and other agencies. Parents and youth often self refer. Help is just a phone call away. If you know of a runaway or homeless youth, urge them to contact YSB at 1-800-338-7360 or call the McHenry County crisis line at 1-800-892-8900.
To learn more about this important issue try visiting these resources online:
Lynn Mitchell is an interning Outpatient Therapist at YSB. She is completing her Masters in Science in Counseling at National Louis University.
